Eyes

They change colors all the time. It all depends what I wear. But these are my favorite ones!

My night last night

So the last few days have been hard since I haven't heard from my husband at all! He was supposed to be gone for about 3 days and now it is going on the 4th day! It makes me worried so anyways last night I couldn't help myself but think about him every 5 minutes. I went to bed praying that he was going to call or something. So I went to bed depressed but I had really weird dreams with him in them. I can't really remember them well but it made me wake up this morning around 5:30 well then the phone rings at 5:30 and me nor mom answered it. We were sleeping hardcore well then I started thinking what if that was him? what if something happened to him? what if that was the call I needed the most? Well I started feeling really sick and I couldn't go back to sleep I was waiting for another call from whoever it was. Well I started watching television and by that time I must of woke Mom up and she asked what I was doing and I told her I couldn't go back to sleep and she kind of laughed and she was like Brittany that was a recording from school saying it is closed today. Wow did I feel like a retard! Needless to say I worked myself all up thinking I missed his call or something happened to him and it was silly school! My stomach started to feel alot better but I still wanted a call from him. Well I haven't got it yet and I am hoping for it either tonight or tomorrow morning. Yeah I feel like an Idiot but hey they say prepare for the worst so I did!

The First Night I went out since he's been gone

So I went to the bar tonight. It's the first time since Josh has went away and I had a really good time. It felt good to get my mind off of shit. Since the last time I went to the bar was with him made me think about him all night but I got to get out with my closest friends and my mom. I danced and carried on. I missed his call though. I felt like complete shit and I started to cry because I always stay for his calls and I am always here no matter what. Fortunately I got on the computer and HE WAS ON! I dried my eyes up real quick. His web cam wouldn't work so I couldn't see him but he got to see me so that was a plus. Tonight was a really good night and in the end I am the happiest girl ever. I cannot wait for him to get home. But that's all for now.

Me and Josh on New Years

Okay so this time I have been doing really good. I have started off really strong. This is surprising because I am normally really emotional. I have talked to him on the phone twice now. Once last night and once this morning. I can't even think about crying because I am so excited to hear his voice. Deep down it hurts but I am not letting myself get down and out. Last night I couldn't sleep at all so thank gad I didn't have school so I could sleep more when I did actually fall asleep. I can't wait till he gets home and we can live together and start our life. I want to thank Misty Thacker for being there for me though. She is the sweetest person ever and I know I can talk to her about anything. Well I will write again sometime soon.

The First Night knowing he is so far away

This leave recently has been the best 2 weeks of my life! I got everything I ever wanted. I now have a wonderful husband who is the one person who always makes me smile. He knows just how to make me laugh and knows just what mood I am in even if he is 1500 miles away from me. He is on his way to Kuwait right now and wow have I been a terrible mess today. I have been really sick then started my time of the month this morning and after all that dealt with my husband being forever and ever away from me. I don't know what else to say about it because I cry every time I talk about it but I will be blogging again soon.